Jan 17, 2014

2014 Begins

It's 2014!!!!  I'm excited about what the new year holds. So many threads in my life are lining up to come together this year, and I'm excited to see what new blossoms emerge this new year. 

2013 was intense. It ripped me open, laid me bare at the altar of death, and insisted on transformation. I guess that's what's needed for evolution to happen; old forms must die for new forms to emerge. 

In October I passed the one year milestone for legally changing my name. Releasing my complete birth name (first, middle and last) and claiming a new name has so many layers of transformation in it. It is not just a name change, it is a complete metamorphosis of being. 

So much of 2013 was about dying to my first adulthood, while at the same time, seeding so many aspects of the second adulthood birthing through me as I claim the archetypal power of my new name.   

As I moved through this dying / birthing process, all the aspects of my old life that used to fuel, nurture and distract me no longer had space in my world.  SoulCollage, photography, dancing, hiking, nature, teaching, journaling....all these activities fell away. I found myself sitting in the center of no-thing-ness with only me, God and the current breath of the moment. 

As I moved through this portal of transmutation, and slowly found my footing on my new foundation, I started to engage with my passions again, however, this time there was something different. I no longer wanted to do them alone (which was my old tendency). I now wanted to engage in art and nature with friends and loved ones. Having spent so much of my first adulthood enjoying solitude, I am finding that Raven Shree is a much more social animal. She craves intimacy, connection, union and community. What a wonderful understanding to take with me into the new year as I continue to flesh out this new being I am becoming. 

May 2014 bring you deep felt connections, with Yourself, 
with Loved Ones, with God, and with the Wild Divine Nature of your Soul. 

Jan 5, 2014

Dying by the River

Click this link to read the writing that emerged from me
by the river bed as I meditated on this sculpture 
In the summer of 2013, I went on a two week trip through the Pacific Northwest. Starting in Oregon and ending in Washington, with the intention of getting clarity on if I wanted to move to that region as my next home base. One of my dear friends joined me for a portion of the journey, and one night while camping along a river, we had a powerful experience with the dark side. The shadow force that came through the portal into this world attached itself to me and I got super sick. 

My friend and I parted ways and I continued on with my trip, declining in health along the way. I found myself deep in the rainforest, by myself, with no cell phone service, feeling as if I was going to die. Honoring that it was my time, and wanting to make a ritual out of the process, I found my death lodge next to the Hoh River. Withering in pain, fear and loneliness for days, coming in and out of consciousness, I entered into deep relationship with myself, God, and the deep unknown we all reside in. 

In my lucid moments, I found myself gathering rocks from the river bed and creating a rock sculpture. Each rock represented health and vitality in each of my chakras, and in a way, was a prayer for vitality. In this process I realized I did not want to die alone. Death is scary in and of itself, and having loved ones around to hold your hand and pray with you as you transition has so much loving presence in it. Yes, we all ultimately die alone, however, doing so in the witness space of loved ones has so much beauty in it. 

Once the rock sculpture I created that represented me and healthy chakras was built, I found myself creating another rock sculpture. This one representing my ideal man, aligned in all his chakras, vibrating with vitality at all tiers of being. As I created this form, I knew that if I made it through this illness, that I did not want to continue living my life isolated and separated from relationship. Yes, we die alone, however, I did not want to live alone anymore. I was ready to open my heart and my life to intimacy and the embodied life force of love. 

As this awareness moved through me, I found myself collecting drift wood and creating bridges between the two rock structures. Each rock structure needed to be strong in itself to be an anchored side of the bridge, not collapsing into the other as connections were formed. The final creation, was a small rock structure built on one of the bridges, representing the third entity created from the partnership, an essence that would not be possible with out the two beings providing a foundation for something new to be born. 

After three days next to the river, and not dying, this rock structure motivated me to crawl back to my car, find my way off the island, and back in to the world so I could live. This image has so much power for me and holds so many of my hopes, dreams and intentions. May I create powerful ways to birth this intention in the new year, finding powerful and embodied ways to love, live and be of service to the heart.