Mar 7, 2013

My Relationship with Winter

SoulCollage card I created 
to explore and express constrictions
in my psyche around Winter. 
I grew up in San Diego, CA and didn't really have winters. When I was 14, I moved to Oklahoma and experienced my first winter... with snow, freezing temperatures, and the bitter coldness of family life. My life during this time was dark and bleak. 

I left my parents as a teenager, and set out into the blizzard of a new life. With limited shelter, little food, sparse clothing...winters are deadly. They contract bones...and soul, hibernating spirit in dark regions of no-thing-ness.  

I moved back to San Diego when I was 18, and once again had no "real" winter. It 's much easier to be homeless where weather is nice, and the body and soul can open up to potentiality. 

As I evolved my 30's and developed my Wiccan practice, I came to understand Winters purpose on the Medicine Wheel, however only at an intellectual level. Since I wasn’t experiencing the true depths of Winter in San Diego, much of the dying, rooting and hibernating processes of the season had to be forced and deeply intended...and I could come out of the process when ever I wanted and go to the beach for fun and sun.  

After leaving my biological family and the cold winters of Oklahoma, I made a conscious choice to not participate in Winter. Winter sports held no appeal to me, and snowy places were totally out of the question as vacation spots. Traumas from my time in Oklahoma deeply rooted in my psyche, Winter was shadowland I avoided as much as possible. 

At the end of 2008 I went to Utah with a friend for a Death Lodge Rites of Passage Ceremony. It was winter. There was snow and cold, however, we had a cabin, clothes and food. My relationship with winter healed dramatically on this trip. I  discovered that with right provisions, Winter is doable. When needs are met, I can even have fun in Winter. 

With my relationship to winter and cold healing, I no longer needed to stay in San Diego because of the weather. More places in the world opened up as possible locations to live. My inner gypsy could come out to play. This time I would not be running away from something...but rather, running towards something. A much way to move! 

I moved to Denver, CO and experienced my first winter on the other side of my healing. I engaged in winter sports of shoveling walkways, grocery shopping in blizzards, and learning how to layer clothing in fashionable ways. Living in Colorado supported me in deepening my understanding of Winters medicine at an experiential level, enabling me to go much deeper in my journey through the Medicine Wheel.  

I can now immerse myself in the wisdom source of Winter and the north direction on the Medicine Wheel. As my relationship with Winter heals, I am more able to come into stillness, and the cave of rooted being 

Here are some of my SoulCollage card exploring the theme of Winter in my Life,  
and at a collective level for the cultivation of Soul. 

Transforming Poison into Elixir  (childhood healing card) 

Divine Download of Light 
(merging Crown Chakra with direction of North on Medicine Wheel) 

The Crone;  Death Doula of Rebirth

Mar 5, 2013


Mountain Range I drove alongside
on my way to Southern Colorado. I love the cloud
moving across the sky mirroring the snowy peaks. 

I arrived at my hotel in Alamosa. The man that checked me in was nice. No elevators, so I make several trips up the stairs with all my gear. After two trips, I am ready to settle in. I open my window and see that it opens to the inside courtyard of the hotel. This will not work. I need a window to the outside. I need to see the sun rise and set, and the moon wane this last moon cycle of winter. I am here to honor the season, and I need to see it! 

I request a new room. The man puts me in another room on the same floor so I don’t need to haul my gear down the stairs. The room is in the back of the hotel. I am the only one on this side. The room is not as nice as the other one, however, the window opens to the back alley, 
and that is more important to me. I take it. 

I start the process of moving my stuff from one room to the next. The man offers to help, however, I want and need the exercise; I make an adventure of it. Due to the hall structure of the hotel, I have to walk all the way around the hotel to move rooms. As I circumnavigate this new space that will be my home for the next 4 nights. I find myself calling in the directions of the medicine wheel. 

My first room was in the direction of south, which governs power, energy and Summer. My new room is in the north, the direction of Winter, the season I am here to honor. My new room anchors in the compass point of the season I am here to immerse myself in. Even the candy in the rooms is different. In my first room, they were white. In my new room, they are dark brown. The universe is amazing in how she lines up things.

I move my car closer to my room. To do so, I have to park at the back of the building where there is no one else. I appreciate the theme of this dark alleyway as an entry portal into my final winter ceremony. I step out of my car, look up, and see a huge shooting star fly across the cosmos. The universe lights up for me. A sign I am on the right path. 

I made a wish on the shooting star; I wished for love to enter all beings with every inhale. I take a deep breath myself, inhaling love for this exact moment, and officially welcome myself to my journey.   

I step into the ceremony of honoring winter and the lessons I moved through this season with the 2012 Shift. I move into the consciousness of wrapping up Winter and being prepared to step into the season of Spring from a more integrated and evolved standpoint.