Mar 7, 2013

My Relationship with Winter

SoulCollage card I created 
to explore and express constrictions
in my psyche around Winter. 
I grew up in San Diego, CA and didn't really have winters. When I was 14, I moved to Oklahoma and experienced my first winter... with snow, freezing temperatures, and the bitter coldness of family life. My life during this time was dark and bleak. 

I left my parents as a teenager, and set out into the blizzard of a new life. With limited shelter, little food, sparse clothing...winters are deadly. They contract bones...and soul, hibernating spirit in dark regions of no-thing-ness.  

I moved back to San Diego when I was 18, and once again had no "real" winter. It 's much easier to be homeless where weather is nice, and the body and soul can open up to potentiality. 

As I evolved my 30's and developed my Wiccan practice, I came to understand Winters purpose on the Medicine Wheel, however only at an intellectual level. Since I wasn’t experiencing the true depths of Winter in San Diego, much of the dying, rooting and hibernating processes of the season had to be forced and deeply intended...and I could come out of the process when ever I wanted and go to the beach for fun and sun.  

After leaving my biological family and the cold winters of Oklahoma, I made a conscious choice to not participate in Winter. Winter sports held no appeal to me, and snowy places were totally out of the question as vacation spots. Traumas from my time in Oklahoma deeply rooted in my psyche, Winter was shadowland I avoided as much as possible. 

At the end of 2008 I went to Utah with a friend for a Death Lodge Rites of Passage Ceremony. It was winter. There was snow and cold, however, we had a cabin, clothes and food. My relationship with winter healed dramatically on this trip. I  discovered that with right provisions, Winter is doable. When needs are met, I can even have fun in Winter. 

With my relationship to winter and cold healing, I no longer needed to stay in San Diego because of the weather. More places in the world opened up as possible locations to live. My inner gypsy could come out to play. This time I would not be running away from something...but rather, running towards something. A much way to move! 

I moved to Denver, CO and experienced my first winter on the other side of my healing. I engaged in winter sports of shoveling walkways, grocery shopping in blizzards, and learning how to layer clothing in fashionable ways. Living in Colorado supported me in deepening my understanding of Winters medicine at an experiential level, enabling me to go much deeper in my journey through the Medicine Wheel.  

I can now immerse myself in the wisdom source of Winter and the north direction on the Medicine Wheel. As my relationship with Winter heals, I am more able to come into stillness, and the cave of rooted being 

Here are some of my SoulCollage card exploring the theme of Winter in my Life,  
and at a collective level for the cultivation of Soul. 

Transforming Poison into Elixir  (childhood healing card) 

Divine Download of Light 
(merging Crown Chakra with direction of North on Medicine Wheel) 

The Crone;  Death Doula of Rebirth

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