It’s official..I am moving to Denver. I am excited about this move and am looking forward to creating and experiencing a new home and community, but most of all, I am thrilled to have the Colorado Rockies in my back yard! This will be my second time moving from San Diego, however, this time around it’s happening in a much healthier way.
I grew up in San Diego, and lived there until 10th grade. It was at this time my parents decided we would move to Oklahoma to be closer to my fathers family. Life with my biological family was always violent and unhealthy, so I was surprised and quite disappointed my parents planned to take me with them to Oklahoma. I felt this was a perfect opportunity for us to sever ties with one another clean and easy. I could stay in San Diego and live with my grandmother or best friend Jen, or even enter into the foster care system. However, these were not viable options for my parents. My family was being monitored by CPS (Child Protection Services) and my mother was not yet ready to give up her live-in maid. Therefore, it was decided I too would move to Oklahoma with my parents; a decision that ended up marking the beginning of the end for me and the Holloway family.
So there I was, 14 years old, saying good-bye to my best friend Jen on the curb in front of my house, both of us crying and heart broken at losing our other half. My mother came out and yelled at us in her characteristic manner to hurry it up and get it over with. My father, on one of his rare occasions home, happened to be outside when this happened...and for the first and only time in my life, my father stood up to my mother for me and demanded we have a few more minutes to say goodbye. Every little girl wants her father to love and protect her, and although this was something I was not used to, this moment will always stand out as a positive childhood memory for me.
After we moved to Oklahoma our home life took a lethal turn. I left my parents at 17, returned to California, started a new life, and have been there ever since. That was over 20 years ago, and now here I am, about to leave San Diego again. This time, the experience is much different. I am doing so on my own free will and doing so in a loving, healthy and effective manner.
I have known for a while that I was going to move at the end of June when my lease expired, however, I didn’t know where. The universe is leading me to Colorado, and I am listening. To prepare for this move, I slowly started to bring conclusion to various aspects of the life I’ve created in San Diego. I slowly stopped seeing private clients and leading my Saturday workshops. I stopped mentoring my kids, and am leading my last Friday evening gathering next week. I am saying good bye to friends, getting rid of stuff, and collecting bits of my energy scattered around this town that I have lived in for most of my life. I’ve done so much process work around my childhood traumas, and doing so in San Diego has enabled me to do so in a deeply powerful way. Now that a lot of that work has been completed, I am ready to move on, to a new place, to create new memories and new possibilities.
What is so synchronistic about this move is that I am leaving for Colorado the day after my friend Jen gets married. Once again, she and I will be able to have tender moments before I leave town, however, this time, we will be able to do so in a more integrated manner. I can leave town knowing she is safe in the arms and heart of a man that loves, protects and nurtures her. And even thought we will be states away, I know we will be able to continue to nurture our 25+ year friendship. I think it’s so powerful that we are both going through such huge life shifts at the same time. It goes to show how deeply connected “The Jenni’s” are and how entwined our lives are. (The image in this post is of "The Jenni's")
Thank you San Diego for all the lessons, insights, love and healing you have offered me. I hold you in my heart and in my history and am ready to venture off into the unknown to step more fully into the fullness of my being.
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